News!

Hello, my pretties. I'm sure you've been wondering about my
whereabouts for the past weeks.

"I know she's a lazy bum who refuses to post daily, but this is ridiculous!"

"Two posts in three weeks? I'm outta here!"

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I meant to write you this note from work, but I was a lazy bum and now that is no longer possible.

That's right - I finished my job and now it is on to Graduate School and Gainful Unemployment! or something. My last day at work was Friday, August 17.

What does that mean for you, dear readers? Well, it's a bit odd, considering that I started this blog from work, only wrote and posted it from work, and generally observed culture through the lens of work. As I have told you many times in the past, the blog will go on - the tone may change, and the frequency may change, but I'll still be here - ranting, raving, and reading your comments.

For now, though, I have to prepare to leave for Burning Man in 4 days, finish organizing my room (I moved to another bedroom in my apartment), register for classes, and pretend I'm a real person. It's a challenge, I tell you.

Love and Kisses -

Your fearless leader -

Audrey.

Everything I Own is Broken

Well, almost.

Perhaps it's the late summer humidity and haze. Is bad karma at work? Did I buy all of these things at the same time and simply run them into the ground? Or maybe it's just dumb luck.

Within the past month, the following possessions have done gone broke:

- 1 pair of suede flip flops, strap snapped. Purchased Fall 2003.

- 2 purse handles, come undone. One purchased Fall 2002, the other Spring 2003. Both repaired in the Summer of 2005.

- One bathing suit, disintegrating. Purchased Spring 2003.

It's not just my college clothing. It's also my apartment.

The toilet in our back bathroom is finally committing seppuku. After 3 plumber visits over the past year and a half, countless handle shakings, instructive signs to innocent guests, and tank drainings/top removals, it no longer flushes with the handle. We now leave the top off so that hapless visitors can reach inside the tank to pull the long piece to drain the water. (Yes, those are the technical terms.) I think it's time to get new parts.

We also have ants in the toaster oven in my kitchen.

I don't want to talk about it.

I think I may just need to run off to the desert...

Mid Summer Haiku

Last Friday, my dear friend the Healthcare Goddess scripted some lovely haiku about how slowly her workday was going. I am reposting them here for your reading pleasure. I think they fit a Monday as well as a Friday.

Friday Haiku

How slowly you go
Languid Friday afternoon
I wish it were five

A glacier must move
Faster than the minute hand
Stupid cubicle

(Of course, my weekend didn't end languishing in the office.)

Friday Night Haiku

Bright lights in the sky
It slipped my mind on that night
Lightning heralds RAIN

Like a caffeine jolt
"In case of emergency,
BREAK DANCE." Check your feet.

Saturday Wasteland

Hurry up and wait
Plumber? Exterminator?
I hate apartments.

Saturday Night

All of the tourists
They hijack my good ideas
Get off my island!

Sunday Sun Fun

Central Park uptown
Just three words: Capture. The. Flag.
Red, blue, run, sweat... bar.