Israel and Stuff

More astounding than the mouse-chasing escapes I encountered at home in the backwoods of Bestchester this weekend -

Even more fantastic than the idea that one of my thighs might be smaller than the other (either that or the jeans I bought at Filene's basement are kind of wonky - entirely possible) -

A journey that is likely of more interest to you than my field-trip to Roosevelt Island (via tram!) on Saturday -

And more overdue than the contact lens bill the Private Eye received in lieu of her diploma two years ago at our college graduation -

....Is my short discourse on the Great State of Israel. (Illustrated, of course.)

How short? This short.

(No, I did not pose for that photo with the intention of using it in a bad pun. But short ponies are pretty funny, no?)

My trip was a whirlwind. It began and ended in the air: a 10-hour El Al flight - the longest I've ever taken - from JFK to Ben Gurion Airport outside of Tel Aviv coupled with a 12-hour return trip lengthened by tornado warnings over New York.

Crowded planes that we have known.

Between those transatlantic bookends, I hiked in the Golan Heights, explored Tzfat (the birthplace of Kabbalah), paid my respects in Jerusalem at Yad Vashem and the Western Wall, gawked at Tel Aviv, floated uncomfortably in the Dead Sea and scaled Mount Massada just in time for sunrise.

I managed to keep a journal for half of the trip. Theoretically, I'm going to write down the rest, but since I've been home for two weeks, that's looking more and more unlikely. To boot, the weather was hazy, so none of my pictures even look real. It looks like I'm standing in front of a blue screen.

See? (I assure you, I was actually in the Golan.)

But really, the slightly unreal quality of this photo captures my entire experience in Israel. The tiny country contains enough geologic oddities and is saturated with enough history to suspend one's belief in scientific logic. Snow-topped mountains and hostile desert within a 3 hours drive? An earth that actually opens up and swallows people, via sinkholes near the Dead Sea? The Dead Sea itself? (The water stings a bit.) This is the stuff that myths are made of.

Tomorrow: More photos!

Informal Aside

I know I'm supposed to tell you about Israel. I'll get to that. I am interrupting your regularly-scheduled, low-quality, hyphenated content for even worse drivel. This evening, I attended a gallery opening that was held simultaneously at a bar/gallery in New York AND in Second Life, in the so-called Metaverse.

Cool? Lame? Worthy of a little mouth vomit? Actually kind of interesting? Full of men in bow ties? Or perhaps just one?

You be the judge.

Also, if anyone can figure out why the Spring Street 6 train station smells so unbelievably awful, *please* tell me. Knowing is half the battle.

On American Soil

Hey there, everyone - I'm back.

And I'm over my jetlag, too, so I'm *really* back. I've ceased asking questions: What time is it? What day is it? Is that the sun or the moon? It doesn't really matter.

I have items galore from the navel of the world - including chocolate and Ahava mineral cleansing gel, if you happen to stop by my desk at work. Other than that, I can only offer you stories, and perhaps a few choice rocks.

Above, see an ancient map of the world that presented Israel at the center of Europe, Asia and Africa. I happen to think that it is super cool.

Quick summary, to be followed by astute observations in the coming days - Israel has crazy weather and topography, to the extent that I now understand how not one but three major religions could emerge from the desert. Every line of rocks in a row has the potential to be the ruins of something historic - or something that got bombed.

Also, I really like hummus.

More to come -

Off To the Holy Land

So I meant to tell you abut my upcoming vacation earlier this week, but I've been busy running last minute errands. I'm off to Israel through May 16. It was a very last-minute trip, inspired mostly by Pantshem (who will be in the same tour group).

I almost can't believe I'm going, as I haven't had months to dream about it. Sadly, I do not expect to have access to the internet. I'll provide a full report (with delayed pictures taken on a 35 mm camera) upon my return.

Obviously, I fully expect to experience perfect healing of the mind, body and soul. When I return, I'll be a better, less neurotic person and I'll have the perfect butt. It is the Holy Land, after all.

Wish me luck -

Audrey.